Rejection Collection (between the lines)

    by Leslie Clark


We’re sorry, but your application for employment, while carefully
reviewed, has not been selected for further action at this time. (We
already have the job filled, but we had to advertise it anyway).
We’re sorry, but we interviewed numerous well-qualified candidates
for this position, and we hired the most qualified candidate to fill it. 
(About a million young, eager Ph.D.s are out there looking for jobs, and you’re
lucky we interviewed you at all, you grizzled M.A., you).
We’re sorry, but interest in this position has been high, and we hired
the person we felt was most qualified. (And you know how much we prefer 
male instructors with local roots who haven’t pissed off anybody yet. 
It doesn’t matter how much you’ve done for this institution, 
or how skilled an instructor you are).
We’re sorry, but we were overwhelmed with wonderful poetry collections, 
and yours did not place in this first book contest. (Did you really think you–
nobody from nowhere named Clark would win this?  Why aren’t you
better connected? Why didn’t you go to Iowa? Why aren’t you more ethnic?).
But thank you so much for your interest in our institution...in our contest.
We wish you best of luck elsewhere. (Preferably far away from us).